The Road To A Better Me

Well, here we go again. I saw a picture of myself the other day and my heart sank. I am so disappointed in myself. Last summer and throughout the fall I decided it was time to get serious about losing some weight after having my second baby, and joined Weight Watchers. I did amazing and lost over 30 pounds, I was really proud of myself. It was the first time in forever that I had some confidence back and was feeling good. I was being more social and not hiding myself, my anxiety was getting better, and I was just happier…Then winter hit, and my long walks and bright colorful fruit filled plates turned into staying at home and eating comfort food (pizza and fries are my weakness). It didn’t really hit me until I saw those pictures of myself. The feeling I got made me stop and really give it some thought. It made me realize that lately I haven’t been as happy as I know I can be, I haven’t been as positive or energetic as I can be, I am not being the best I know I can be. Last night I was thinking, okay…. next grocery order I will stock up on healthy food and start fresh. WHY WAIT? Why not start today? Why not start RIGHT NOW. I made a quick grocery order and picked it up this morning. However, I am going to go about this weight loss journey (which is really NOT a weight loss journey) completely different. It hit me that the number on the scale (which I checked once a week and plugged into my phone) really does not matter. What really matters is how I FEEL.

Here’s what I am not going to be measuring or stressing about:

The number on the scale (Seriously… I am not even going to step on it)
The size of my clothes
The inches around my waist, chest, arms… etc.
WHAT PEOPLE THINK

Here’s what I am going to be measuring:

My energy level
My confidence
My overall happiness
My overall health both mentally and physically. Am I able to keep up with my two little boys (who never stop)? Am I able to walk a little bit longer each day? Am I sleeping better? Am I more positive?

I don’t care what the number on the scale says, and nobody should because it really does not matter. I don’t care if I am size 2, 8, 14, 24… What matters is how I feel on the inside. What matters is that I have some confidence back, what matters is how happy I am and that I can be the best mom and wife possible for my family. And honestly, that really has nothing to do with weight loss, or a number on the scale, it just has to do with how I want to live my life and what makes ME happy. I know that improving my overall health, both mentally and physically will have a huge impact on every aspect of my life.

I am going to give myself little challenges. Right now, my challenges are to drink more water, and get out for a walk every single day. If the weather does not permit, then my challenge is to do 10-15 minutes of a workout at home. I know it’s not much at all…but for me, that’s huge. I never workout. Literally…never. So this small challenge is something big for me.

I went out for a walk this morning, and it was amazing. 2 of my boys joined me, and we had the best time. The weather was perfect and it reminded me how beautiful the town I live in really is. We walked down by the water and listened to the geese. A sure sign the nice weather is just around the corner! It felt so refreshing to get out of the house, and I am already feeling a million times better.

When we got home I made a healthy snack, which was delicious and filling! A rice cake with light cream cheese, topped with avocado and strawberry slices. A great alternative for my craving of carbs, and I have a new found love for avocados so it was just right. I am definitely happy that I have stocked the house with healthy foods to help me along. But I am keeping in mind that is not just about losing some weight, if I want pizza and fries one night, I am going to have pizza and fries. It’s all about balance.

This is not a weight loss journey anymore; it is a journey about improving my overall health.

It should never be about the number on the scale. I will always have rolls, I will always have my tiger stripes from growing two humans inside my body, I will always have imperfections – it’s about learning to love them, and myself.